


Tossed Off

by Animom



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Fanon, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-07-09
Updated: 2003-07-09
Packaged: 2017-10-14 04:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/145538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animom/pseuds/Animom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some rather interesting complications could result from that telepathic link between Yami no Yuugi and Kaiba (displayed at the end of the "fake Kaiba" duel) ...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tossed Off

**Author's Note:**

> Yu-Gi-Oh is the intellectual property of Kazuki Takahashi and Konami, and is being used in this fan fiction for fan purposes only. No infringement or disrespect is intended by this fan fiction.

A long, long time passed between their first meeting and the first time they slept together, but once they started they made up for lost time. Mokuba was off at wilderness camp and Kaiba had had the foresight to give his entire staff two weeks of paid vacation, so they had the mansion to themselves. They spent the first four days in bed ... or in the shower, various floors, on the stairs, the kitchen, the garage, the basement ...

It wasn't until the afternoon of the 4th day that they found out about The Problem.

The doorbell rang. Kaiba checked the security camera.

"It's Mutou Yuugi," he said, surprised.

"He's really upset about something," Joey pronounced. They hurriedly dressed.

Even so, they were shocked when they opened the door. Joey burst out, "Yug, what's wrong?"

Yuugi's face was pinched and pale, and the dark circles under his eyes looked like shiners.

"Yuugi, come in." Kaiba said, stepping back from the door.

"Hey – guys," the wild-haired boy said hesitantly. "Joey, I didn't expect to – ." He looked from Joey to Kaiba and back again, his brow furrowing, taking in the bare feet, the slightly-mussed hair, the rumpled clothes, and then the realization hit him. "Oh. _Oh_." A blush tinged his cheeks.

"You look terrible!" Joey said. "Can we get you anything?"

"We? So you – ?" Yugi asked slowly. "You two are – ?" His puzzle glowed for a moment, and he winced. "Ah, Kaiba, do you have a metal box I can use?" He glanced down at the Puzzle, then up at them meaningfully. "I need to talk to you _privately_."

Of course, Kaiba's general intolerance of non-functional frou-frou meant there were no empty decorative boxes to stash the Puzzle in: however, inspiration struck (he swore later it hadn't been malice) and he suggested, "If your Dark won't be too insulted, you could put your Puzzle in the refrigerator."

"That's probably OK," said Yuugi slowly, and seemed to be having a furious mental conversation as he walked to the kitchen.

They could see a difference as soon as he came back without the Puzzle, though. He looked a little bit relaxed, and not quite so pale.

"So, what's up?" Joey bounced down on the couch next to Kaiba, who sat with his hands folded primly in his lap.

"Well," Yuugi started. "You know I admire you, Kaiba. And Joey, well you're my best friend. And, I'm sort of surprised that you, but really, _I'm_ certainly happy that you two are finally ... not fighting anymore."

Joey grinned. Kaiba, however, prompted, "But, someone else _isn't_ happy?"

Yuugi shrugged. "Well, the other me ... for the last few days he's only been out of his Soul Room to ask me to write down the day and time. It's kind of a strange request, but I don't mind – except that it's been going on just about around the clock. He even wakes me up in the middle of the night. I haven't had a full night's sleep since Wednesday night."

"So what can we do? Make ya some warm milk?"

"Have you asked him why he's making you do this?" Kaiba asked with narrowed eyes.

"Well, whenever I ask him about it, he just keeps saying I should give the list to you, Kaiba, that you'd understand what it is." He pulled a rumpled and much-folded sheet of notebook paper from his pocket.

Kaiba unfolded and studied the paper.

 _Thursday 4:07 pm  
Thursday 5:38 pm  
Thursday 7:02 pm  
Thursday 10:23 pm  
Thursday midnight  
Friday 1:04 am  
Friday 6:56 am  
Friday 11:42 am  
Friday 1:39 pm  
Friday 3:10 pm  
Friday 9:17 pm  
Friday 11:46 pm  
Saturday 10 am  
Saturday 4 pm  
Saturday 9:52 pm  
Sunday 3:03 am  
Sunday 7:12 am  
Sunday 2:43 pm_

"What are all those times?"

Kaiba stared at the paper. First his eyes widened, then closed. He took a deep breath and shook his head. "Unbelievable." He turned to Joey. "Thursday night, just after midnight? And then an hour later?"

"Hey, that's when – 'cause midnight's when we – _oh_ , so it's times when we, when you – "

Kaiba answered this with a raised eyebrow. He worked his jaw.

'They're _all_ on that paper?" Joey asked.

“Most of them,” he said, handing the paper over.

The blond scanned the list. "Holy shit. Yeah, that's right, mmm, 'cause Saturday morning we slept late and then," he snickered, "I woke up when you – "

Kaiba cleared his throat to interrupt the narrative.

"How can he know about this?" Joey asked Yuugi.

Yuugi, whose face had become very very red, shrugged. "I don't know. He seems to be really upset, because I can feel it when he comes out. But he won't talk to me or let me into his Soul Room."

"And _you're_ not in pain or feeling anything unusual?" Kaiba asked.

"Well, other than being really really tired and kind of upset, I guess not."

"Do you think your Dark will talk to us?"

"I'll go ask." Yugi got up and went into the kitchen.

"That's so weird," Joey said. He whispered, "Hey, what are all these times on Thursday afternoon? You didn't pick me up til midnight."

"I was _thinking_ about midnight," Kaiba said dryly.

"Oh. _Oh_." He smiled, smug and content.

Yuugi called out, "He says he'll talk, but only to Kaiba, and only if Joey leaves the room."

Kaiba looked grim. "Alright." he called out to Yuugi, then muttered very quietly, "King of Games, my ass! King of Melodrama." He turned to Joey. "Go wait in the gazebo."

"The little house in the garden, with the _benches_ , right?" Joey asked with a wink: then his expression got serious. "I'm coming back in 5 minutes to check on you, OK?"

"Make it 15."

"Alright." He slipped out the front door.

"Ready?" called Yuugi.

"Ready," answered Kaiba.

A moment later the other Yugi walked into the room, the chilly Puzzle 'round his neck. His scarlet eyes seemed huge, with a hollow, hungry look. Kaiba was instantly on guard.

"Well." He walked slowly up to the still-seated Kaiba and stood, shifting his weight so that his leathers creaked. Ordinarily such a blatantly slutty move would have been funny, and Kaiba might have laughed – but this situation wasn't funny at all. He waited.

"So you've finally found a way to defeat me?" His husky voice was reproachful.

"What?"

"You can't best me on the dueling field so you've decided to destroy my sanity?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You saw the paper?"

"Yes."

"And you know what those times list?"

"Yes. Orgasms I've had in the past few days." He couldn't resist adding, "well, _most_ of them. And this affects your sanity how?"

Dark Yugi's eyes narrowed angrily. "You're doing this to me on purpose."

"That's ridiculous. I didn't know you could … _hear_ me!” He cleared his throat. “Just ignore it.”

"How can I? Surely you know what we were to each other in the past?"

"What, that few thousand years ago crap?"

"We were lovers then. Once I discovered your identity I felt sure we would be lovers again."

"That's not going to happen."

"Doesn't my presence _excite_ you?" He stepped even closer, and thrust his hips forward slightly.

"It has, somewhat, on occasion," Kaiba said with a malicious half-smile

"Then _why_ ," he asked in anguish, gliding onto the couch to kneel astride Kaiba's lap. "Why won't you be with me now?"

"Because _he's_ the right one for me now, not you."

"How can you say that?" The Dark one slid a hand around Kaiba's neck, caressing. "After all we were to each other?" His wide red eyes locked with Kaiba's, and his head dipped down for a kiss.

Kaiba turned his head away. "The operative word is _were_." He stood, pushing the other Yuugi away. "I have no memories of any of that."

"We can make new memories." The former Pharaoh swayed, his hand reaching out for the brunet's zipper.

"I don't think so." Kaiba caught Dark's wrist.

"I can drown you in fathoms of pleasure. We can explore every flavor of depravity, old and new."

"Yes, I'm sure there have been plenty of innovations since your reign."

Dark sighed and, momentarily sidetracked, said wistfully, "Yes, I recently found out about 'vibrators.' Battery powered and discreet.” he came back to himself. “If you will not join me in pleasure I have no choice but to banish you." He raised his hand.

"Hn, planning on sending me to the Shadow Realm? Are you going to send Joey too, and deprive Mutou of his best friend, or will you just shamelessly hit on _him_ once I'm out of the picture?"

"You have no idea what it's like," Dark whispered savagely. "Over and over, to feel those waves from you, like a dark tide. I didn't know what they were at first, I thought you were in danger, I wanted to find you and save you. And then ... and then they became clearer, and I realized it wasn't fear or pain, but _joy_." He almost choked on the word. "It was bad enough when I realized that you were receiving what I waited thousands of years to give you," he added sulkily, "without the added torment of imagining you were doing to that beautiful boy, soiling his purity – "

"Oh, he's _far_ from pure. He knows more tr – "

"SILENCE!" Dark's very white and very sharp looking teeth were bared. "He is a distillation of the _sun_. His countenance is _incandescent_ , light flows from his fingertips, his thighs are like cedars ..."

Kaiba knew better than to interrupt a near-god's poetry rap (although he had to bite the inside of his cheeks to keep from laughing at the "torrential river of life-giving seed" line).

Once Dark had run out of metaphors, similes, and hyperbole, Kaiba said brusquely, "Look, pharaoh. Joey is with _me_. Get over it. You win some, you lose some. Or in your case, you win _most_ , you lose one."

"No, Kaiba, it is YOU that will LOSE!" Dark raised his hand and prepared to blast his rival to the Shadow Realm, when suddenly he fell to his knees and said, in a different voice, "OK, that's enough."

"Yuugi?"

"Yes, it's me." He stood, looked angry and determined. "Wow, I'm sorry. I didn't know the whole story. It's – " He blinked, now forlorn, "It's a side of him I've never seen before." He cradled the Puzzle in his cupped hands. "Gee, it's still so cold from the fridge."

Kaiba went outside and motioned to Joey to come back in.

Yuugi was subdued, and unable to look either of them in the eye. "Well, um, thanks for listening. I guess I'll see you around." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Though I guess not as much as before, hm?"

.

"So he's hot for you, and in love with me. How did that happen?"

Kaiba shrugged. "He amplifies Yuugi's abilities. He must amplify his feelings too."

"So hm. I guess that means ...." Joey's voice trailed off thoughtfully. "Hey, is Anzu safe?"

"Probably, since Yuugi seems to worship her."

"It's gonna be really hard for him."

"Who?"

"Yuugi, mostly – but both of them really, if ya think about it."

And it had been. The others knew something had happened between Yuugi and his Dark, but everyone respected Yuugi too much to pry into what they sensed was a painful experience.

As for Kaiba and Joey ... the whole thing made Kaiba extremely self-conscious, knowing that he had a ever-present voyeur of sorts, an invisible audience of one at every performance.

It affected – well, it affected his performance.

Considerably.

After a few days he quipped, half seriously, "Well it's clear. I can _never_ come again."

Joey, unperturbed by the whole business, finished stalking him, pounced, and said in between bites and kisses, "Oh no, I think coming well – and very _very_ often – would be the best policy. It might, you know, de-sensitive him?"

"De-sensitize," Kaiba corrected automatically. "A policy, eh?"

"Yeah, a _policy_. Let's set some _policy_ right now. I've been wanting to see if those benches in the gazebo are as sturdy as they look. Now that we've finished with the house I think we should make a _policy_ of testing every piece of furniture in the yard. And your office."

And with that they were an official couple, since they had their first secret code word. "We ought to develop a policy" and "I have an idea for a new policy – let's spend the rest of the day hammering out the first draft" preceded their escapes from boring KaibaCorp meetings forever after.

.

* * *

  
 **Author's notes**

* * *

The first draft of this piece was in fact "tossed off", using the taming of a plot bunny as an excuse to avoid real work. (That accounts for the somewhat abrupt ending.) Gracious thanks to the bawds on Kyokou Geemu who embraced the rough draft with little yips and warm fuzzies for the author.

The change in His Yamness' attitude toward Joey from the first draft (where YY referred to him as "the enemy") is entirely due to **Akaiblush** , one of my bestest YGO fandom buddies, who is a diehard YamiJou fan with detailed evidence at her fingertips ... she also deserves credit for wondering how Anzu would fit into this little "amplification" theory.

P.S. _**Written long before I knew how the series ended.**_

2003.7.9 first posted  
(020) 9 June 2010, tweak opening


End file.
